You’re Invited to a Pity Party!
Come dressed in your catastrophizing best! Hard hats required!
All right. I’ve been looking for a job for 2 months and 10 days and I cannot find a job.
I am despairing of ever finding a job. I feel like I have applied to 8 million jobs and I have had three interviews a month ago and that’s it. IT! I was told (as I was getting fired) that I am employable! I was told that after working at my last job I could “write my ticket.” The ticket I have is like one of those tickets that your kid brings home for free for the crappy circus in the school auditorium. Everyone has one! It’s free! So no one needs YOUR ticket.
I should really walk it back a second and acknowledge my privilege. You may have realized from the title that I’m being a whiny bitch and it is my privilege to do so. I could (Jesus Christ hopefully), get an entry level job as a counselor or care coordinator. I could go work at any number of jobs, really. I could go back to work as a LPN and really ruin some lives (by being useless and at the same time somehow killing people). But I don’t have to at the moment and that’s awesome. Not many people (certainly not one of the tens of thousands of federal workers being fired left and right) are in this position. I am thankful.
And still…anxious! And afraid! I’m really halfway to being a Discovery TV show. I just. I didn’t have too much confidence and then I got fired and now I am shook, as the kids say. And then perhaps I am applying for jobs that are above my station? And I am just delulu (also the kids say…although if I am saying it then it is very likely the kids are not).
So I’m trying to do the work truly. I’m on the damn websites, I’m sending the applications, I know myself and what I want to be doing, I’m trying to manifest, but then ruining the manifestation with the anxiety and doubt. An hyperloop of anxiety and hope and doubt. Thanks Elon, and also, fuck you.
I guess the only way off this train is to really really, live in the gratitude and hope that something good is around the corner.
And stop the whining.
But I’ll keep the hard hat, thanks.
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